fluffraptor

Coen Bros to remake True Grit

2009-03-23T16:20:00.002-05:00

Wonderful.

Dark Horizons article about it.

Seriously, I'm really excited. The original is a great movie. Can't even begin to grasp what they'll be doing with it. Only downside is that it's probably getting made before The Yiddish Policeman's Union. I read the novel BECAUSE they're adapting it. Still, any Coen is good Coen.

Side note: Just watched "The Man Who Wasn't There" again. Severally overlooked. Check it out.

I need to see Slumdog Millionaire

2009-02-22T22:55:00.002-06:00

That is a lot of oscars. Picture, director, cinematography, script. A bunch of smaller ones too. I really do love Danny Boyle and even though I have yet to see the film, I am quite glad he got the oscar for direction.

There was a tiny clip at the end for Sherlock Holmes. That looks good. Super good. Also Funny People and The Boat that Rocked. Some good looking flicks coming out this year.

I write here what I think about Slumdog when I see it. Probably soon.

Citizen Crime Stoppers: Beard Unit

2009-02-21T23:01:00.002-06:00

*Wrote this tonight for my friend Bob and I to make. Because we have beards.

INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY

Amongst the shops hustle and bustle an OLDER GENTLEMAN is concluding
his transaction.

A pretty, young BARRISTA works the register.

BARRISTA
One grande house blend. Would you
like to try one of signature mini
muffins for only two dollars more?

OLDER GENTLEMAN
No, thank you. Just the coffee.

BARRISTA
Then your total today is two oh
five.

The Older Gentleman produces two crisp dollar bills and
hands them to the Barrista. His hand juts into his pocket.

OLDER GENTLEMAN
I think I've got a nickel.

He moves to hand the Barrista a coin when ANOTHER HAND grabs his
wrist.

The hand belongs to COLIN, a darkly bearded man wearing sunglasses
despite being indoors

COLIN
Hold it.

The Gentleman and the Barrista stare in stunned silence.

COLIN
Just what in the hell are you
trying to do?

OLDER GENTLEMAN
(stuttering)
Paying for my coffee?

JESSE
Try, committing a felony.

Colin smirks, looks over his shoulder at a similarly bearded man,
JESSE.

OLDER GENTLEMAN
What are you talking about?

Colin returns attention to the felonous Older Gentleman.

COLIN
I'm afraid my beautifully bearded
friend is right on the money.

Colin tenses and CRACK!

OLDER GENTLEMAN
AHHHH!

From his broken hand, a silver coins falls to the counter.

It bucks and jumps before settling. A beaver is embossed on its
surface.

Colin loosens his grip and the Older Gentleman slips to the floor,
clutching his hand.

BARRISTA
You broke that man's hand over a
nickel!

COLIN
Canadian. And your welcome.

BARRISTA
Why the hell would you do that?

Faster than lightning Colin and Jesse whip out badges that read:
CCS:BU

COLIN
Citizen Crime Stoppers.

JESSE
Beard unit.

Each stroke their beard with their non badge hand.

COLIN
Seems our work here is done.

Colin grabs the coin off the counter, flicks it at the writhing
Gentleman.

COLIN
Keep the change.

JESSE
Nice.

CREDIT SEQUENCE OVER SWEET MUSIC

Title: CCU Beard Unit

SERIES OF SHOTS

Colin and Jesse observe a man spitting on the sidewalk, proceed
to burn him with cigarettes.

They give chase to a man in a dress.

A man stalks a graveyard, shovel in hand. Sees Colin and Jesse
watching him from their car, drops shovel and runs.

Colin eats a hamburger, proceeds to choke while laughing at
a joke Jesse tells him.

Split screen: Jesse and Colin in respective bathrooms, comb their
beards facing each other as if staring into mirror.

Colin hides in the bushes, shoots bicyclist with radar gun. Nods
to Colin down the road who shoves a rod through the
bicyclists wheel.

Colin and Jesse dance in strobed light.

INT. POLICE CHIEF'S OFFICE

A heavy set man, CHIEF stands behind his desk.

Chief SLAMS his fist down.

CHIEF
Beard Unit!

COLIN
Right here Chief.

Colin and Jesse sit in comfortable chairs across from their livid
Chief.

CHIEF
Damn it Beard Unit, I know your
here! I'm angry with you!

COLIN
Why's that Chief?

CHIEF
You broke an old man's hand!

JESSE
A felonous, old man.

CHIEF
You make up one more word Jesse and
I'll have your badge!

JESSE
Sorry Chief.

Chief takes a breath, calms and sits.

CHIEF
This isn't why I called you in
here. We got a message from... the
Conundrum.

COLIN
The Conundrum! That scum.

CHIEF
He says he'll be calling me in the
next few minutes. Says he'll only
talk to you, Colin.

COLIN
Why only me Chief?

CHIEF
You're his greatest foe. You solved
the mystery of the lingering stain.

COLIN
All over that carpet...

The phone on Chief's desk RINGS. Chief answers.

CHIEF
Hello?
(to Colin)
It's for you.

Colin grabs the phone from Chief.

COLIN
Hello Conundrum.

INT. CONUNDRUM'S DARK LAIR

A shadowed figure sits with his back to us.

CONUNDRUM
Colin of Beard Unit, so nice to
speak with you.

V/O COLIN
Cut to the chase Conny, I'm already
late for a trim.

CONUNDRUM
So impetuous. But I will cut to it,
as you say. As a feather moves
where the wind wills, so too must
all chickens come home to roost.

V/O COLIN
What the hell are you prattling on
about?

INT. POLICE CHIEF'S OFFICE

Colin holds the phone, disinterested.

V/O CONUNDRUM
A riddle my fuzzy friend. In it
contains your only clue to finding
the bomb I have planted in the
city.

COLIN
So either we decipher your poorly
written poem or innocent citizens
lose their lives.

V/O CONUNDRUM
Those are the rules of my game.

COLIN
Seems like you've got our hands
tied.

He motions to someone and a SECRETARY walks up with a
post-it note.

COLIN
Or maybe we traced this call and a
pretty secretary just handed me a
post-it with your address on it.

INT. CONUNDRUM'S DARK LAIR

Conundrum is silent in the darkness.

CONUNDRUM
It would do you no goo-

CLICK. He's hung up on by Colin.

CONUNDRUM
Shit.

INT. COLIN'S CAR

Colin and Jesse sit side by side, silent, emotionless.

COLIN
Sarah's leaving me.

JESSE
Damn.

INT. CONUNDRUM'S DARK LAIR

Conundrum is working frantically at a table when his door is KICKED
in by Jesse.

Conundrum is startled, then darts back to his chair.

CONUNDRUM
I've been expecting you Beard Unit.

Colin and Jesse step into the darkness.

Colin flips a switch on the wall and light spills over the cluttered
mess of the Conundrum's apartment/lair.

The Conundrum, less menacing in the light, sits hunched over wearing
a green track suit.

CONUNDRUM
(to himself)
Jeez!
(to our heroes)
No matter what you do or what you
say I will not provide any other
clues. I assure you everything you
need to solve this rid-

BLAM! Colin stops the pontificating Conundrum with a bullet in
the stomach.

CONUNDRUM
Glahhh!

Jesse walks up and inspects the wound.

JESSE
Ow. Right in the liver. Gotta be
painful.

The Conundrum gurgles his agreement. Jesse steps back.

JESSE
I'd say you've got less than four
minutes unless somebody stops the
bleeding.

COLIN
So where's the bomb Conny?

CONUNDRUM
Jesus! You shot me! You can't shoot
me, that's not how it works!

COLIN
I was improvising. Your turn.

The Conundrum struggles to sit up, points to his table.

CONUNDRUM
The map and disarm code is right
there. You could have just smacked
me around a little!

Jesse walks over to the table. Nods to Colin.

COLIN
Thanks for your cooperation.

CONUNDRUM
Could you please call the doctor
now! I'm bleeding to death!

COLIN
No need, I'm a surgeon.

Colin SHOOTS the Conundrum in the head. Blood everywhere.

JESSE
Nice.

ENDING CREDITS OVER OTHER SWEET TUNE

B/W stills from the episode ala Venture Bros.

Or it could be a voiced over preview of next adventure.

Writing tricks. For KIDS!

2009-02-12T19:38:00.002-06:00

The typewriter is my favorite writing paraphernalia. The clickity-clack of metal prods smacking the crisp white page. But what about that white paper? Boring as hell. Luckily I've found an alternative.

Napkins, paper towels and assorted scraps. Don't know why but this crap gets me prolific. I came up with the basic plots for two possible spec episodes I've been trying to write for a certain kids show. A pink hat may be involved.

Thought that I'd share this wonderful news with the rest of the world. Go forth and spread my poorly written ramblings! Forthwith!

Also, is it wrong that I'm a little interested in seeing the new Street Fighter movie? Feels wrong. Yah, it must be wrong.

In the space of 1/2 a mango

2009-02-12T16:12:00.003-06:00

I really enjoy Lost. Suppose it's because I have no idea what's going on. Something is happening and I want to know what; but every episode the narritive appears more and more seemingly convoluted. Yet there has to be something there, right? We'll see.

Have you ever had your eyes bleed? No, no I didn't think so. It wouldn't be much of an outrageous image if it were a common occurrence. Ocular discharge? Take three Tylenol, stay off your feet for 20 minutes. Never had my face melt either. Close once, at a Chris Cornell concert.

Seems like all the good stuff goes into fancy cat food. Prime cut tuna, farm fresh veggies, served in a crystal wine glass. Too eat that good as a human is a rarity. Pretty sure the McDonalds doesn't serve up the fillet mignon.

Taste the freedom. Ride the walrus.

Movies of 2008 (That I've Seen)

2009-02-11T16:22:00.005-06:00

In the order of how I felt about them; the movies of 2008...

Wall-E (a complete contradiction of message and product; still awesome)
In Bruges (poetic violence with a sharp wit)
Role Models
Vicky Christina Barcelona (even for the non-Woody's)
Gran Torino (snubbed by captain oscar)
Hellboy 2
Encounters at the End of the World (Werner Herzog's Antarctic epic)
Burn After Reading (Coen is a four letter word for awesome)
The Dark Knight
Taken (for those of us who love it when the bad guys get what's coming to em)
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
City of Ember
Ghost Town (crazy surprised by how funny it was)
Kung Fu Panda
Rambo
RocknRolla (Guy Richie's back, finally)
Son of Rambow
Choke
The Wrestler
The Bank Job
Semi-Pro
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
The Incredible Hulk
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Tropic Thunder
Iron Man
Traitor
An American Carol
Hamlet 2
Run, Fat Boy, Run
Sex Drive
Quantum of Solace (no story, pretty sure, I looked)
Doubt
Zack and Miri
Horton Hears a Who
The Happening (surprised there could be 4 films I liked less)
Max Payne
Charlie Bartlett
Pineapple Express (I've had enough Seth Rogan)
10,000 BC (couldn't even finish it on an airplane)

Not without mistakes and unintentional omissions. I'll update it perhaps. Stole the idea from my friend Caleb. Go read his list too. Do it now.

There are a litany of films I didn't get to. For shame. Let's go eat some spinach dip.

Coraline: My first 3-D adventure

2009-02-06T23:55:00.002-06:00

Good movie. Shared a lot in common with Pan's Labyrinth, but that can be said about any story that is essentially fablistic (a word?).

Interesting part was the 3-D. Like I said, I've never seen a stereoscopic film. Very cool for about 10 minutes. Then the headache emerges... Plus, after a while you hardly notice the perceived third dimension. It just eats away at the soft tissue of your cerebral cortex. Now I'm not a doctor, but I feel comfortable confirming that 3-D films do indeed make you dumber. Also cell phones are a major provider of vitamin J.

I did enjoy myself. I got a little bored, a little agitated, but I made it through with relatively high spirits. I would recommend the experience to a friend. One caveat; the glasses we were provided were quite tricky to use on top of my normal glasses. Plus there was an automatic 3-D fee that was very annoying. I did get free popcorn. But I didn't really want any. Cheers.

A Serious Man: A Coen brothers script: An impression

2009-01-31T08:15:00.006-06:00

This movie will not be for everyone. I'll venture that it'll harder to find consensus on A Serious Man than it was for No Country For Old Men. But for those of us who love everything Coen, it'll be great.

I'll sum it up as a man's life falling out of order and then, through no work of his own hands, falling back into place. No murder, no fraud, no mystery. Just one man's broken life changing before his eyes.

If anyone else was making this movie I wouldn't be excited. But their language and shot composition makes it uniquely Coen. And that has yet to be a bad thing.

Look for it later this year. There's also a small part played by Adam Arkin of whom I am a fan.

Doubt

2009-01-31T06:49:00.002-06:00

Real quick. The reasons why I don't love this movie.

1. Underdeveloped conflict/resolution: I knew coming in that the big questions about the Philip Seymour Hoffman character would remain unanswered. What I didn't see coming was a complete lack of resolution. There are no answers, just musings. The "climax" was completely weightless and didn't lead to any kind of satisfying conclusion.

2. Use of title in film: It's a rule people. You don't set aside scene after scene that has the actors saying the movie title. Do you have doubt? Why do we doubt? Doubt draws people together. Over and over again. Made me cringe. The only possible exception to this universal rule is the film "All About the Benjamins".

3. Meryl Streep: Not a fan. Never have been. Wouldn't have been a big deal except she ends up being the main character. And the biggest piece of character growth is supposedly hers at the end of the film. That scene was terrible. Character change is supposed to be organic, not unbelievable.

4. Short: Don't usually chide a film for being too short. Especially one that I was not particularly taken with. But the story was left too quickly. The change in Streep's character too abrupt. Certain characters are completely forgotten. Needed another 30 minutes to complete what it set out to do.

5. Too much praise: Trying to be as honest here. Too many people like it. I get nit-picky when a movie I don't love finds love at the hands of critics everywhere. I call it "Green Mile Syndrome". While I didn't initially hate the Green Mile, the adoration for it from every direction led me to become far more critical of it's construction and content. As a result, I really do hate it now. Seriously. Much like my disdain for horses. But that's a story for another day.

So there you have it. My oft flimsy reasoning for the dislike of Doubt. When I started writing this I actually liked the movie more than I do at this moment. What does that say about me?

The Red Menace cometh

2009-01-27T19:18:00.002-06:00

Bored. So very bored. More TV, then reading, then bed. Not all that sure what comes next.

Always wanted to wade out in a cranberry bog. Sure it's not as exciting as I want it to be. Probably could take some awesome pictures. Very surreal stuff. Stuff of my nightmares.

Maybe I should shave my head. Always wanted to know what I look like. Wait till it gets warmer. I'll die if I do it now.

Apologies to anyone that reads this.

Resident Evil 5: An exercise in same...ness

2009-01-26T21:43:00.002-06:00

Demo came out today. Was fun. Was scary. Was exactly the same as 4. If Capcom would cop to it, I wouldn't have a problem. But I've seen the advertising, the PR. It's being sold like it's the next step in the advancment of interactive entertainment. They added the ability to strafe. That's it.

I like the game. But I don't live in a vacuum. Those aren't brownies I'm smelling. Plus, I'm not hungry anyway.

One last rage inducing tidbit. Booted up the split screen mode to play with my brother. We have an hd tv, should be awesome in co-op right? Wrong. It cuts the screen so that we play in two little off set boxes on the screen. Uses about half of the actual tv. With that attrocity alone, Resident Evil 5 gets downgraded to a rental.

Less than half the screen. Seriously.

$4 of Asimov Gold

2009-01-23T22:56:00.004-06:00

Walked into a Borders and there she was; "Gold", Isaac Asimov's final short story collection. Enjoying it so far. Though all I have read is the forward by Orson Scott Card. His admiration for science fiction's late statesman brings a tear to the eye and an elation of spirit. Makes you want to write.

Two pages into the first story. It's a first person account of a robot's life experience. Simple and inspired. Hope it ends well.

Got a copy of "The Fountainhead" for Christmas, need to pick it up and keep reading. Love the language Rand uses. Unique but not cryptic. I look forward to understanding better the idea of objectivism. Seems like the world could use it right now. Too bad people don't read anything from before 2003. Purpose driven bastards.

Lets all go to the lobby.

more riddick

2009-01-22T23:12:00.001-06:00

Not hours after my first Riddick love in, comes THIS.

Totally sick.

Riddick: the reason I can't quit videogames

2009-01-22T17:42:00.003-06:00

Just when I thought it was time to take a break, THIS HAPPENS.

The single greatest experience on the original xbox is back. Bigger and better. Those who never played Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay don't really understand how sick the character or the universe is. And I pity you. Luckily you've got another chance to make up for your short comings. The re-release is not only the entirety of the first game with enhanced graphics and gameplay but a whole second story that picks up immediately after the first game. It's time to crack a few more necks.

Watch the trailer, absorb the incredible looking images and then set your expectations higher. Starbreeze will deliver.

It also seems that Vin wants to make at least two more Riddick movies and another Riddick game in the near future. Sweet lord.

Get ready for awesomocity off the charts. Word. Sucka what.

a realization

2009-01-21T20:53:00.002-06:00

My job is going to kill me. If not me, then at least my soul. I thought I might be able to do it. I thought I could work there and pursue my passions outside of my profession. Odd how a 4 hour meeting can be so eye opening. Let's review what I learned in that 9th floor conference room this afternoon.

1. smiling is good
2. selling crap to suckers is VERY good
3. it will take a long, long time for you to get anywhere in the company
4. our prices suck so you better be extra awesome
5. it can take up to 30 minutes for someone to connect a laptop to a projector; provided that that individual is a sales manager and/or a complete simpleton
6. though the powerpoint says there will be lunch, there will be no lunch

I was really looking forward to that lunch. I guess I should thank them for being stingy, my loathing seems more legitimate.

typing through my hero

2009-01-20T22:47:00.003-06:00

When pondering the possession of power and the responsibility inherent (que the uncle ben clip) one often finds himself in a purely idealistic realm. Where else could it naturally arrive? But there never seems to be a discussion of the individual and his right to withhold said power. It must be excersised. But what if a legitimate excuse is presented, say the protection of ones own family? Then the power, however great, is no longer an imperitive. We will always come to superman for the exception that proves the rule becasue there is nothing that can thwart what is all powerful; with possible exception being something MORE all powerfull (doomsday).

What moral imperative overrides an individuals responsibility to do the most good? Self preservation never seems to be a legitimate choice. But what if said person feels they must survive for tomorrow and subsequently removes himself from play until a time of their choosing? Then you've got not only a power player but one that can be both conflicted and in the end, selfish.

Of course good must always triumph. Why have it any other way? Does the hero return and perform as expected or does he fade away in to shame and obscurity leaving the world to fight it's own battles? I am inclined to the later as a change of pace but the former will always leave a sweeter taste. Do I have a responsibility to the audience to fulfill my end of the assumed contract? I still haven't made it past the stage where I write for myself so it shouldn't be a problem to ignore the audience. Still...

In a good Noir the detective knows when to take action and when to let things lie. Sometimes you pull the trigger, sometimes you gotta let self preservation make the call. It always ends the way Bogie plans for it. And it's not always pretty. Heroes can make it out alive too; though they may not look the part.

open letter to the coffee shop girl to whom I was too shy to talk

2009-01-20T17:31:00.004-06:00

Dear coffee shop girl,

You made me coffee, but it was my heart that was warmed. You poured my coffee into a paper cup (biodegradable I think) but it was my soul that you filled. You fumbled my change across the counter, onto the floor and eventually into my hand but it was me that was muddled. Oh to have a second chance to talk with you. A third if I'm honest.

Never has a creature looked so becoming in plaid apron. Nor will anyone ever again. For me it was a glimpse into heaven, a stolen glance at one of God's attendants. But it will never be...

No coffee shop girl, it will never be. For you see I am stricken, afflicted by the mere thought of your presence into a state so dumbfounded I cannot find words for simple pleasantries. You shall not even get a "hello" out of my bewilder sewn lips. Your affect is far too substantial.

It is for the best that we may never see each other again. For me a fleeting moment of abject clarity and for you the serving of another bastard customer who is incapable of ordering without slurred speech. I was merely drunk on your loveliness.

Though miles and knowledge may separate our paths, I will remember the moment you smiled and believe that it was for me and not my soon to be tipped currency.

Until we cross paths again,

weird dude in your coffee shop

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT PLOT DETAILS!

2009-01-13T19:42:00.003-06:00

In an interview for his upcoming animated show "Sit Down and Shut Up", Mitch Hurwitz let slip some plot details for the Arrested Development movie. When asked, "What's it going to be about?" Mitch described it as...

"basically Valkyrie meets Hotel for Dogs."

Consider your minds blown.

http://buzzsugar.com/node/2693131

I heart Bill Cosby

2009-01-13T19:12:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I forget what real comedy is. In the age of comedy central it's easy to hear "comedian" and think Carlos Mencia, Dane Cook, Larry the Cable Guy. Dark times indeed. People may, in the deepest part of their lost memories, recall what comedy might have been. But we don't actually remember. Not until we dust off those old albums of the great and the forgotten.

Bill Cosby's "Himself" is a work of genius. Without the cheap tactics of yelling, shocking, offending and being ridiculously profane, Bill manages to make me laugh harder than I thought still possible. And what does he talk about? Family, dentists and stupid people. The holy trinity of classic comedy.

I can't understand why the man has never run for high public office. He would no doubt be a democrat and I would still be first in line to give him my vote. Reasonable people are so few and far between.

Armadillo Story

2009-01-11T00:56:00.002-06:00

Bright-eyed, tail bushy; Griff stood before the sheer edge of the trembling tree branch. Or was the trembling just mirroring his own nervous shakes? Either way, he was way the hell up there and any armadillo worth his stink would be just as apprehensive.

“Do it you puss!” someone shouted from far below. Way, way down below. No need to be pushy. Bastard.

“I’m doing it,” Griff shouted back. “Great armadillo god help me,” he added under his foul breath.

A quick check of the barometric pressure through his internal gas sack and Griff decided it was time to go. He backed against the trunk, hesitated for just a moment and then…

ARMADILLO FAST NOISE! Griff raced toward the ledge with all his armadillo strength. A step or two left and then… flying through the air! Nothing has ever looked odder, more peculiar. And for good reason, armadillos don’t fly. Hell, they don’t even climb trees.

“He’s doing it. He’s really doing i…”

The excited spectator cut himself off when it became apparent that Griff was indeed NOT doing it. He hurled toward the Earth like a drugged out rockstar that was also fired from a cannon. Before the onlookers could even muster a gasp…

SMACK! Griff hit the ground harder than something of comparable size and weight should. Hard doesn’t even begin to describe how forceful it was. We’re talking super hard.

Needless to say Griff died an exceeding gruesome and stupid death. And that’s how armadillos relearned that they couldn’t fly. They had already known, but it had been a while since they checked.

Bionic Commando: Rearmed

2009-01-10T20:44:00.006-06:00

When there is no setting left to explore, no more compelling game play mechanics to invent; you might as well go back to the beginning. After spending a dozen or so hours with Bionic Commando: Rearmed, I'm happy to report we could do a lot worse.

A complete remake/overhaul of the original NES classic, who would have guessed not jumping could still be this much fun. One button to shoot whatever weapon you've got equipped and one button for that bionic arm. Simple right? While you would not be wrong, the depth of game play presented is staggering. A healthy selection of enemy types, insane amount of weapons (all profoundly different) and new epic boss encounters make for one of my favorite experiences in recent memory.

And how much would you pay for this fine product? Three payments of $19.99? How about two low, low installments of $14.95? You are in luck because for the next thirty-eight minutes you can download and own Bionic Commando: Rearmed for a single payment of 800 Microsoft points ($9.99)! Did I mention the killer multiplayer support in the form of both two player co-op and four player death match? Yours free when you order now!

Cannot recommend this game enough. If you have an Xbox 360 or a PS3 this should really be at the top of your list.

FluffRaptor gives it five ubiquidous sheep out of a possible flock.

Flashback episode er... blog

2009-01-09T12:39:00.000-06:00

Not two posts ago I talked a little bit about the comics I would like to see get a feature adaptation. After chatting a bit with a friend, I have an addition to the post.

Aaron Douglas should play Bigby.
=

Look, they both got the cleft. Also I just like the guy on Battlestar. Love to see him get a realling interesting role. My friend suggested Hugh Jackman as the immediate choice and while he's not wrong for it it would be sweet to try someone different. Someone like Chief Tyrol.

The Bigby casting would definitely be the tone setter for the rest of the cast. You put in a smaller actor like Aaron and then you would be free to take some chances. Maybe Christina Hendricks as Rose Red? She's good but underused on the show "Life". Come to think of it, now I want Adam Arkin (also from Life) in the movie. He's got a starring role in the next film from the Coen brothers.

Weird picks though these actors may be, I really wouldn't want anything about Fable to be generic.

Nyquil time +50 minutes

2009-01-08T21:19:00.000-06:00

Stuff is getting a little blurry. My fingers seem to work... lots of back spacinging. Tom seems fine but he has left the room. He does have like twice as many hours slept than I do.

Looks like that main guy from CSI is maybe perhaps leaving the show. FINALLY. Nothing about him is interesting. Even his beard looks painted on; a crime against home grown beards. What's that dudes name?

This show Eleventh hour is ok. Need to check out the original with Patrick Stuart. Wish I owned a copy of Safe House. Those f-ing gophers...

Been like an hour now. Heavy eyes. Computer almost dead. Ill have to plug it in if i remember.

Rufuss Sewell is pretty cool. What would a sequel to Dark City look like? Would Rufus take control of everything and ne their king? Give a mouse a cookie.

Nothing else is coming freom me now. Need to go to ben. If you experience an erection for longer than 12 hours seek immediate help.
nigh

The death of Captain Marvel

2009-01-07T16:28:00.000-06:00

Of his movie anyway. According to the script's author/developer John August, Shazam! has gasped it's last breath. Read the blog about it; illuminating in it's assessment of the Hollywood process.

The saddest news to me (besides a writer loosing his baby) is that it seemed to be farther along in it's development than I was aware. In a world where Daredevil and Catwoman both got made, my heart aches for the interesting comics to see their day in the sun.

Not that anyone asked, but I would love to see a few comics get the treatment.

Fables would be so damn cool I don't understand why it hasn't happened. The Big Bad Wolf in human skin is a chain smoking private detective who teams up with Snow White (who is the town's major) to find her younger sister's murderer.

Batgirl had her own series a few years ago. A friend lent them to me and I burned through them as fast as my chubby fingers could turn the pages. Raised by her assassin father, never taught a verbal language, the most dangerous woman on the planet. Really, really good.

Fray was a continuation of Buffy in the distant future. New girl, new enemies, same mission. I really dug this book. Plus it was written by Joss Whedon. You could almost just lift the dialogue and write the action lines.

Not necessarily my all time favorite comics. They just lend themselves to the screen.

If waffles make you sterile, I'll just adopt

2009-01-07T10:49:00.000-06:00

Worth it in the long run I'd wager. How many glorious memories somehow corospond with the eating of those tasty, sacchrine covered nooks. And those crannies... I've gone and soiled myself with saliva.

How about a haiku?

iron cooked tasty
murderous expectation
where doth heaven lie

Move over you sissy crepes; waffles are back.

Gravity Bone: 10 minutes of espionage

2009-01-06T23:32:00.000-06:00

Not much to say other than if you have 10 minutes to kill, smack this download with double-click. Clever, beautiful, fun.

R.I.P. EGM

2009-01-06T20:15:00.000-06:00

So they're gone... and I'm personally responsible.

That's right. A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a nice young lady imploring me to renew my subscription to Electronic Gaming Monthly. I swiftly refused. My reasons are my own (a pear needed eatin') but they seem petty in retrospect.

And so to you, Ziff-Davis, I extend my most heartfelt apologies. You needed my help and I kicked you in the metaphorical junk.

Next time you're in the neighborhood Ziffy, give me a ring. Drinks on me.

Team ICO = Why games is good

2009-01-06T10:57:00.000-06:00

Trying out a new font. Mmmmm... courier... It's like I'm typing this on my Smith-Corona.

I love team ICO. They've only made two games (Shadow of the Colossus and their name-sake ICO) both of which make my inner child joyously play the fiddle.

I wish I could explain why both games fill me with such feelings. They literally express tangibly an intangible longing for adventure that lives just beneath the surface of my psyche. I guess that was a decent explanation. There's more but it can never be voiced for fear someone will attempt to destroy it.

This impenetrable admiration for the confections of a group of sleep deprived Japanese men may in fact cost me $500. There are TWO new games coming from them. One is in the ICO universe (shivers of joy) and the other a brand spanking new IP. I really don't need a PS3, but now I kinda do. Damn it.

Maybe I can get a game blog job and write it off as a business expense.

Doubt it.

because hats make me look awesome

2009-01-05T20:48:00.000-06:00

In the rain, on a plane
With a rabbit, out of habit

Nothing would make me happier than a revival of the hat wearing generational trend. Class and sophistication becoming part of the common experience.

A wide brim is next to godliness. Also you can hide your eyes and make yourself crazy mysterious.

What's that you say? You've run out of bowls for your crab bisque? Just let me pop of my ostentatious fedora... instant soup holder.

Is it wrong to want to wear something nacho orange? It really makes my cheeks pop.

Lets go get some fajitas, there are some cool mexican dudes that I want to show this thing off to.

Tiger pants

2009-01-05T06:38:00.000-06:00

Stretchy and striped, I can find no better way to start the day. Tiger Pants (TM).

Given the choice between eating a whole muffin or swimming the English channel, I'd have to go with Tiger Pants (TM).

When stopped by your local apothecary on the street be sure to order the Tiger Pants (TM).

Following that woman I met at the super market can't get any easier than when I'm wearing a few pairs of Tiger Pants (TM).

Tiger Pants (TM) for men, now with adjustable belt loops.

freeverse conversation

2008-12-31T16:29:00.000-06:00

Lots of salt
way over there
superfluous salt

Not actually salt
I see dad
he's gone now

Who broke that

That water looks delicious
-T. Huffman

I could tell
the best of rick astley

Somebody gonna get rick rolled

I'll be the famous anonymous contributor
they're not really good at all
cough cough

What are you really writing down
-A. Sankey

Your face
then I'm not going tonight

Ughh

That man is driving truck with cell phone
I broke a sweat
ricky...

That tree doesn't even look like a dong
I gotta show you something
-T. Huffman

wasting time and taking names, or how I sacrificed a week to talking pinatas

2008-09-19T06:34:00.000-05:00

I've been filled to "maximum candiosity" and it feels so right. Unfortunately, it seems I can't control myself. I am compelled by forces unseen to put Viva Pinata in my 360 and stand idly by as my time disappears like I tied a brick to my cars accelerator and took a nap in the back seat.

It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to put it down. Which for a video game means taking it to gamestop and trading it in for store credit. It's going toward the Fallout 3 fund.

tastes like ink

2008-09-18T17:03:00.000-05:00

As the single minded raptor stalk their prey, so too my time is ravaged by trivial pursuits. Let me instead try this, as it may prove a slightly better use of time.

I've been watching Burn Notice, as every Bruce Campbell fan and am enjoying it for the most part. The whole "When you're a spy..." voice over is getting a little old. I do a pretty good impression. At least that's what my mom says.

Well, we're off to a good start. See any good movies lately?

I would be remiss if I didn't give credit to those who inspired this foray into blogging. On their newly released (and sadly final) podcast, the Games For Windows crew spoke of their entrance to the games news industry and how their opportunities arose. I'm not saying that that is where I plan on going, but the message hit home. Writers write, no matter the situation. And when you write on the internet there is always the outside chance that someone may take the time to read it.

My best to Shawn Elliot at 2K Boston, Jeff Green at EA and the the rest of the GFW crew who remain at 1UP. Miss the Brodeo already.